Psychologist and author Dr. Wayne W. Dyer once wrote:
«Don’t die with your music still inside you.»
Those words made me think about my life and the way I live it. That quote essentially means to me that you should not be afraid to really be yourself. To speak your mind. To love what you love. So, let me break those points down.
Ah, the good old question everyone has probably asked themselves at least once in their lifetime: Who am I? Who do I want to be? To be or not to be? Being yourself may be pretty easy for some but it’s one of the hardest things for others. There are millions of situations in just one day where you ask yourself: How should I act? What do I answer to that tough question? Do I laugh now or might that be inappropriate? Most of the people who ask themselves these questions might think they need to be someone else to blend in with society. I was once that person and I’m telling you: Don’t! Don’t try to be like everyone else just so you won’t be looked at differently or, God forbid, be interesting to others. Look at it this way: Imagine that every song that exists would sound the same. They may not have the same name and the tempo might vary. But the instruments and the beats? Exactly the same. Uuugh…what a boring life that would be. Don’t be afraid of being different from the others. That’s what makes you special and interesting. Like I said, I was once that girl that tried to be like everyone else because I thought that’s what you’re supposed to do. Of course, it’s not. And it was frustrating and exhausting and boring. I live a much happier and more exciting life now. So, start being yourself today with all your quirks, all your flaws and all your unique character traits. Or as Oscar Wilde once said: «Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken.»
Speak your mind
To speak your mind has a lot to do with being yourself. Because you are what you think, what your opinions are. Don’t hold back if you have to say something that’s bothering you or something that just needs to be said to make you feel better. Now, don’t get me wrong. If you need to verbally hurt someone to feel better, that’s definitely not the right way to speak your mind. Speak your mind to make yourself or maybe other people feel better and not someone else worse. Stand up for your opinions and yourself. Just imagine what the world would look like today if Rosa Parks wouldn’t have raised her voice and gave up that bus seat for a white person. The African-American civil rights movement probably wouldn’t have started and who knows, the apartheid might still be an issue today.
The thing about not speaking your mind is that you bottle up your feelings and thoughts which just need to get out of you at one point. It’s exhausting and frustrating to make space for something that actually should be somewhere else. Your thoughts shouldn’t be stored in your little head. Set them free and see how the world reacts. The reaction sure won’t always be positive, hell no. But at least you won’t have to wonder what would happen if you told your friend that you hate how she always stands you up. She’ll either apologize and try to better or she doesn’t care and you’ll know what kind of friend she is to you. Either way, you always get or learn something from speaking your mind and I’m telling you: It feels great!
Love what you love
It’s actually pretty ridiculous that I have to write about an issue like that. Love what you love? Shouldn’t that be given as a human being? It’s the one thing we definitely can’t control in our lives. And still, society seems to keep us from accepting our feelings, over and over again. You shouldn’t love Justin Bieber’s music. You’re not serious you love watching TV shows the whole day, are you? You really can’t be in love with your best friend. Oh my God, did you hear that Jason loves men? Some things we love are easy to stand up for and some aren’t. If someone makes fun of you because you love listening to Justin Bieber’s ‘Baby’ that’s one thing. That probably doesn’t define you. But if you feel you cannot love a person just because society tells you so, that’s a whole other story. This feeling of forcing yourself to stop loving a person will eat you up sooner or later. It will destroy you and make you a person you’re definitely not. It’s a feeling that especially people from the LGBT community have to live with everyday before their coming out. But this isn’t a post about coming outs (I’ll definitely come to that in a later post). It’s about being yourself by your actions, your words and your feelings. I’m saying that you are your truest self when you accept and live out your feelings. The good thing is that in the long term it’s way easier to actually feel what you feel than trying to alter your feelings the way others expect you to. I mean, they’re your feelings not anybody else’s. So, only you have the power to decide what you want to do with them. And btw, although this is about loving what you love, I’m also talking about anger, disappointment, joy, anxiety and many more emotions. Let it all out, honey.
From my experience I can tell that it’s definitely not a bed of roses to be yourself. It’s hard and it takes a lot of time and effort to achieve that goal. But it’s worth it and feels so good when you can finally say: “I’ve never felt as myself as much as I do now.” Besides, the world needs us to be ourselves. It needs the unique characters we are. Imagine how boring the world would be without the John Lennons, the Steve Jobs’ and the Jennifer Lawrences!